The Rules from the Blanket Fort, and TOS
1- Anyone that adds a person to the UnFuckers Unite Membership must be able to personally vouch for them- if you add a douche, you’re responsible for their disposal.
2- BE Nice, BE Kind, Have FUN…. Show respect to others or I will kick your ass to the curb.
3- If you have a problem with me or anyone in this group, take care of it in an Private Message- do not drag crap out into the group
3b- If you choose to “block” a fellow UnFucker that’s your choice (although I’d like to think that we’re all adult enough to be able to get along without it), BUT- “Blocking” any of the UU Admins is officially grounds for being removed from the group. If you have a problem, refer to Rule 3a.
4- I reserve the right to use my soapbox when ever I feel like it. If you’re nice and bring me coffee, I will let others use it too.
5- I’ve installed a lovely pool off the back deck- anyone caught peeing in the pool will be assigned dish duty for a week.
6- Have a good time but respect the beliefs of others. If you want to talk politics and religion or whatever, go for it, but do it calmly and respectfully or I will douse you with the fire hose.
7- I reserve the right to change these rules, and to create ridiculous rules at any moment.
8- I will curse and swear as I please and I extend that privilege to everyone.
9- What happens in UnFuckers Unite, Stays in UnFuckers Unite! These are private conversations, discussions and debates in a private group for the members of the group- NO personal posts or comments, in whole or in part, are to be removed, copied, screen shot, from this site without the expressed permission of the author of the post. Anyone who removes private posts or comments from this group will be in serious trouble and will be forced to chop onions for the rest of the month.
10- Friday is officially “I Refuse to Adult Day”. PJ’s, Popcorn, Crayons and Cartoons all day long. Cookies will be served after nap time. …No eating in the Blanket Fort!!
UnFuckers Unite Terms of Service-TOS
(a bunch of legal bullshit that they told me I have to have on the website….)
All data collected from your registration, including name, email address, IP address, user name, and password will never be shared or disclosed to any external party, organization, corporation, entity, other than Gaea’s Garden (which is me) This data is for the sole purpose of maintaining the data base of members and the security of the website.
All UU Members personal data that is stored on our servers, is Private. At no point will a Member’s data, including, financial/banking accounts, purchase history, chat history, private message history, etc… ever be shared with any external party, organization, corporation, entity, other than UU Administrators for database maintenance and to insure the privacy of all members. Unless we’re held at gun point. Just sayin’. But this is a world full of hackers and Google and Microsoft are the biggest thieves of private information. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do if they are hacking into, or using back doors within the software, to access your personal information. That’s pretty much a given anytime you use any software or apps of any kind on the internet.
We are regulated by some government agency in the UK and they drive us nuts.
If you sign up to our newsletter we may use your email address to send you information about products or services. …. or pictures of cute dogs in funny hats. But we promise no spam.
You can opt out of these at any point and you can ask for personal data to stop being recorded at any time. (they told me I had to add this…. not sure how it’s possible, given the nature of the software and the internet ect to store everything forever. but I promise I’ll do my best)
Cookies & Monitoring
Strictly necessary cookies – These are cookies that are essential to the operation of our website.
Analytical/performance cookie – These cookies allow us to recognize and count the number of visitors to our website.
Functionality cookies – These cookies are used to recognize you when you return to our website.
Targeting Cookies – These cookies record your visit to our website, the pages you have visited and the links you have followed.
We may monitor traffic to our site and collect the following information:
- The IP address of your computer. (again, they told me I had to add this. Personally I don’t care about your IP or even know HOW to find that info in our software)
- The referring website from which you have come to our website from.
The reasons for this are:
- To make ongoing improvements to our website based on this data.
- To see our most popular sources of business.
… again I personally highly doubt I’d ever be motivated enough to actually check this. Then again, one day maybe I’ll turn into a corporate suit and actually care about this stuff.
Disclosure of personal data
We may disclose your personal data:
- To other companies within our group, ie: Gaeas Garden Ltd, which is the same company.
- If we sell our business…. again, not going to happen. I promise that if I ever sell this company, I’ll burn all the archives and take a vow of secrecy, unless you tell me otherwise.
- To agents and service providers. …definitely never going to happen.
In cases where we are required by law to pass on information or if we believe action is necessary for fraud, cyber crime or to protect the website, rights, personal safety of person/s… yea, well if it ever comes to this, I’ll ask you about it first.
We may also disclose aggregate statistics about visitors to our website (customers and sales) in order to describe our services to prospective partners (advertisers, sponsors) and other reputable third parties and for other lawful purposes, but these statistics will include no personally identifiable information. …..actually, no, I won’t. Third parties for lawful purposes would first have to define “Lawful” and then show me 3 generations of laws that precede these “lawful” requests, then I’ll just burn the files to spite them. I’m mean that way
If you are concerned about your data, you have the right, subject to the payment of a small fee to request access to personal data which may hold or process about you…. Seriously?! who writes this shit!? No, no small fee required- just ask me what you want to know.
Right to Cancel
If at any time to decide to cancel your membership, you can do so by contacting me via email. Please be aware that sometimes Paypal can hold onto “subscriptions” even after they are cancelled through the website. If your membership/subscription is cancelled and the payment keeps being taken from your account, you will have to go after Paypal to get them to stop the payment….they are assholes that way.
Product information (The Gaea’s Garden members shop)
Our products are all Pure and Natural, and handmade by me. I’m picky as all hell about my ingredients and will never use inferior ingredients, knowingly, in any product I make or sell. As my products are all hand made, there will be slight variations in every batch. Sorry, it is what it is. I guarantee all my products to be non-toxic, without any added fillers, or crap. I guarantee that I will make your products with the utmost care, and that any defective product or product packaging that effects the product, will be refunded fully or replaced by me, without charge. As our products are all natural and contain NO chemicals, some separation can occur due to temperature and humidity changes- this does NOT mean that the product is “bad” or has “gone off”. For more information about this, please see our “Creating natural Skincare” page HERE
Right to Cancel
All customers have the right to cancel their orders before it is shipped, under the The Distance Selling Regulations (UK) which gives consumers extra protection when buying online. Once you have notified us that you wish to cancel the contract, any sum debited to us will be refunded to you as soon as possible…. or as close to immediately as I can manage.
You will not have any right to cancel a purchase for the supply of any of the following goods:
- for the supply of products custom made to your specifications or clearly personalized or which by reason of their nature cannot be returned or are liable to deteriorate or expire rapidly.
Refunds & Returns
- If your order is received in poor condition, through failure on our part to properly package it, I will send a full refund for the order, or replace it at our cost (your choice). IF however your local postal services drove over the package with a forklift, utterly destroying any and all protective packaging we have provided, you will need to contact your local postal office to discuss the issue….. I am meticulous about securely and safely wrapping every product that we send out, but we cannot be held accountable if some postal worker decides to play football with your order, or decides to run over it… 3 times.
- If your product(s) have been tainted or been incorrectly packaged/labeled, or are “off” (for example due to extenuating shipping issues- like the time it took 5 months for a package to arrive in Cape Town South Africa…), we will give you the option of a full refund or to have a new order shipped out to you immediately.
If you have any issues with our product(s), please contact us immediately. We are very reasonable people are always willing to work with our customers to arrive at a solution that benefits us all. We want our Clients to be happy!
All notices you send to us must be sent to dani (at) rts (dot) earth
… and that’s all the legal mumbo jumbo “they” told me I have to put on our website.
Here are my personal Terms & Conditions:
Be nice, Play nice. Be Responsible….and I promise that I will always be nice and will look after you as well! My members always come first, because I was brought up in the old school understanding of “customer service”… and hell, I like you guys anyway!!
I am not a doctor. I am not a main stream trained medical professional.